Main Idea: In today’s study we will be going over what the Bible says about who we should focus on in every situation where we are tempted to take things personally. We will be learning how to free ourselves from other’s opinions and see how this can really impact how Christ lives and works in you.
1 When we claim Christ’s identity in us, what becomes of our carnal identity? Colossians 3:1-3
Note: If we are dead and our life is hidden with Christ, then as dead men, we shouldn’t be able to feel. And a lot of the things that perplex us today, would cease to really pass our notice; they wouldn’t even be worthy of our attention, or our time of consuming so much of our thoughts. Any time that we have these hurt feelings it’s always because we are thinking about ourselves. And when we stop making things about ourselves and we stop taking these things personally it can help us to have more freedom, it can help us to have more joy and less pain and suffering in what we experience.
2 What is the example Christ left us that we should follow when it seems like someone has a negative motive in their actions towards us? 1 Peter 2:23
Note: In any case, we must commit our feelings or thoughts or words about someone’s motives to God as Christ did.
3 Should we give others the benefit of the doubt that we give ourselves? Matthew 7:12
Note: The Bible gives us a very clear principle here. Jesus says, “Whatever things that you would have others do to you, do even so also to them.” This is the golden rule. So, in other words, give others the benefit of the doubt that you actually give yourself. When there’s a breach when there’s an unmet expectation, when someone expected something of us and we didn’t do it, a lot of times we attribute this to be like an environmental thing. But when someone else does something like they read a message and they don’t respond, we attribute that to their personality to their thoughts, to their feelings, to their motives. We interpret it as though this is an attack against me or as though we know their thoughts and their feelings. The way to overcome taking things personally is to give others the benefit of the doubt that you actually give yourself.
4 Why is it so important for us to assume the best motives of others? 1 Samuel 16:7
Note: It is impossible for us to know what’s going on in other’s thoughts or feelings. We have no idea what their motives, intention or thoughts are. If they don’t see our message, we have no real reason to believe that I irritated them, I offended them or they don’t want to work with me or they don’t like me. You are the one who supplies the meaning, by choosing what to believe about that experience. Part of the way that we do this is, to lay our perceptions and beliefs at the foot of the cross. To really find the answer we have to ask what meaning does the word of God attach to this event? When God says, “All things are for your sakes and not to you or against you,” then we have to choose to believe the word of God, and not our own opinions, feelings or ideas. How we interpret these events of life, will direct and create the emotion because the moment we believe that to be so, we go in this emotional state that it is so. Feelings follow your beliefs, they follow your focus. So, when you choose to believe in abundance, the pain, and suffering, the feelings stop. All the pain, suffering, loneliness, and isolation that this creates in us is not worth it.
5 What guidelines does God give us for interpreting the motives of others? 1 Corinthians 13:5-7
Note: If we’re going to follow God’s perception, we have to construe the motive of love. We have to filter the world through a lens of love and abundance trust in God. Not so much trust in people, but trust in God to take us through whatever and recognize that all things are for our good. That all these experiences of life are not issues and trials and struggles and challenges, but actually loving gifts given to us by our loving heavenly Father. When we recognize and filter all life through 1 Corinthians 13, then this can help us, so that we can be free. You can free yourself from other people’s opinions, other people’s unmet expectations that they have for you or other people’s criticisms towards you or other people’s judgments of who you are who you’re not. Their opinions do not change who you are. You get to choose what you believe about these experiences and limit how they affect you.
6 What sort of attitude does God wish for us to have in every situation that tempts our tendency to judge people’s motives in a negative way? 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Note: Would God ask you to be thankful for things that would do you harm? Absolutely not. So, the fact that God says in everything give thanks that means in the trials and hardships, the challenges, the unmet expectations, when your plans don’t go according to your idea then you can be grateful. There’s an abundance of things in that moment that you can be grateful for, but you got to ask “what can I be grateful for?”. You have to believe there is an answer, that you will find it and it will be worth it when you do. And then you won’t take things personally, and things will be so much better, and your relationships will improve. God wishes for us to have an attitude of gratitude towards all situations. Trade your expectation for appreciation all throughout your life and you will see how each day is getting better than the last. There’s no limit to what you can expect to appreciate in life, so there’s no limit to what God can do through you and for you as well
7 How does Solomon advise us in this area? Ecclesiastes 7:21
Note: In this chapter, Solomon is telling us about wisdom and how to obtain it. In this verse, we can take the principle of not taking heed, or taking personally, every word people say; to people’s actions. This is not something wise to do. When we constantly try to attach a negative and selfish meaning or motive to people’s actions, we will never grow. Our relationships don’t grow closer, our thoughts are not elevated or ennobled, and if we are not growing, we are deteriorating; we are dying. We can either grow, or deteriorate but there is no middle ground.
8 What must we remember when we are perceiving the worst motives of others Matthew 18:14
Note: When Jesus Looks at us He doesn’t see who we are But who we can become through His Grace.
9 If I shouldn’t take limiting beliefs personally, what should be taken personally? Luke 15:4
Note: Jesus leaving the 99 sheep for the 1 lost sheep tells us what needs to be taken personally. Our salvation and the salvation of others!
In Light of God’s Word…
Is it your desire to free yourself from other’s opinions and cling to the strong word of God instead of the thin rope of our feelings and selfish thoughts that bring no growth?
Is it your decision today to hide your life, your thoughts, your feelings in Christ and to lay all your perceptions and beliefs at the foot of the cross?
Offer:
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